together

Dear Iris and Elsa
I wonder if when you are "big kids", you'll remember how we slept together. Every night, for years...well, going on five years... and counting.

Co-sleeping just felt so right to us from the very beginning. Well, to be honest we doubted our instincts a little, so we got the crib and set up a "nursery" because it seemed like that's what you do when you get ready for a baby. But I think in my heart I knew that was all kind of just for fun. I think I knew that for real you'd stay right next to us. And so, of course, from day one you've slept by our sides. Something ancient (for co-sleeping really is an ancient practice) kicked in and our protective mama and papa selves just weren't going to sleep well if we couldn't hear you breathe, rustle, sigh.

And it's what you chose as well. Once we realized that the crib-in-another-room scenario wasn't going to be for us, we moved on to the intention of having you sleep next to our beds in a little "co-sleeper" that attached to our big bed. But, you both had other ideas about that. Warm body, milk at the ready, mama keeping me close and safe? Yeah, I'll take that, you said. Co-sleeper turned into handy holder of books, headlamp, alarm clock...everything but baby.

Sleeping together turned out to be the perfect option for us. Mama didn't have to get up to walk down the hall and nurse a waking, hungry baby, no night walking fussy baby for papa (or not much anyway!). You got to snuggle close, feel protected and sleep better. When Iris night-weaned it was three nights of getting out of bed with her, pacing the hall holding her and singing songs about the morning light. And then it was back to sleep through the whole night, for all of us.

And so now here we are and I can see that sometime...sometime, maybe in 6 months, maybe in 3 years, you are both going to be ready to to move out. (You sometimes talk about snuggling together just the two of you). And when that time comes, your papa and I will guide that transition happily. All these night of sleeping in the shelter of a loving parent, of knowing we are right there should you need us, of associating sleep with comfort and safety, will lead you right where you need to be for a lifetime of good sleep.

It's precious and short-lived. These nights of sweaty brows and little warm breaths. An arm flung over a shoulder, a mumble in the night. A bit less room in the bed(s), a few sleepless nights for mama and papa with a fevered child plastered to your side, a wake up yarn and stretch impossibly early. It's not for everyone, but we wouldn't have it any other way.

Sleep well you sweet girls. Sweet dreams for always.