just now

It would be so easy to forget to love this life now. Sometimes it feels like things will always be this way. Sometimes I wish for the days to come.

But always there is this knowing: the time in which we get to hold our children, really hold them, and center them, and guide them, and try to give them what they need to go out there, is really just so short.

And so now: Coffee, toast and juice by the fire before the sun comes up. Chubby legs on the lambskin changing rug. Nursing our babies together on the couch in the afternoon sunshine. Eating snow until her lips are too cold. Chopping vegetables together for supper. Holding hands and dancing on the rug. Giggles in bed before closing their eyes. Big gummy kisses.