Matt

Two weeks ago Andy's family came and we honored Andy's brother Matt by adding his ashes to our land.

What an unbelievable loss- two sons, two brothers, two uncles within months of each other.  It's hard to hold the enormity.  And yet, while I watched those children gather handfuls of ash and bone and reverently lay it upon their dad and uncle's grave I couldn't help but think about the beauty this loss has taught us.  One child went around and hugged each person in the circle, checking that love was holding us.  One child gripped ash in her tiny fist and asked quietly if she might keep a little for herself.  How real death is for them. And how honored each life is.  Every day.

Matt was happy here.  Always restless but also happy.  Happy to have farm work to do.  Happy to poke around in Andy's shop and forget to put the tools back.  Happy to sleep well to the sound of crickets instead of the city.  Happy to show his own children the country life.  Happy to entertain and tease his nieces.  Happy to tinker with the old truck.  Happy to sit at our farm table and drink coffee.  Matt was happy to be of use.  He was happy to give the gift of his hard work, his labor, his laughter.  Troubled though he was, Matt's heart seemed lighter here.  He will always be my brother.   And he is here now with Andy, held by the beauty of the Driftless and loved by us all.